Open Relationships | Could It Save Your Marriage?
A reader of Dear Annabelle asked me about having a threesome with her husband and it got me to thinking? ?An astounding amount of married couples cheat on one another. ?As I got older and began having more friends who were married, I was actually shocked at the rampant amount of infidelity I was witnessing. ?I even have a reader question about this very subject (coming soon
). ?It makes me wonder why are so many people cheating and would an open relationship be a solution to their problem? ?
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What is an Open Relationship?
In case you?re not familiar with the term, an open relationship means that the couple has physical intimacy outside of the marriage. ? I use the term ?physical intimacy? because not all couples agree to have sex outside of the marriage. ?Some couples agree to flirting or making out while others allow only oral pleasure. ?Couples in an open marriage make their own rules and the one common rule among most open relationships is that they do not become emotionally involved with anyone outside of the marriage.
I have known a few couples who had open relationships and all of those relationships failed. Does that mean open relationships don?t work? ?I?m not sure. ?Let?s explore.
Why Do People Cheat?
I believe that people cheat because they are unhappy in their relationship. ?Women cheat because they are searching for the emotional connection their not getting from their husbands and male infidelity is usually connected to their ego, unhappiness or boredom.
Why Do People Want to Have an Open Relationship?
Monogamy is a hard pill to swallow. ?Having sex with the same person for the rest of your life might seem suffocating and boring. ?Some couples are high school or college sweethearts and never had the opportunity to sow their oats. ?There are couples who are married to their first.
After years of marriage, the idea of exploring someone else?s body might seem appealing and exiting; especially considering the amount of temptation people are faced with every day. ?Our culture is all about sex. ?At some point it became acceptable for women to go to work in hooker heels with their tits hanging out and we wonder why people spend a lot of time thinking about sex.
What is the Difference Between Cheating and an Open Marriage?
A lot. ?Cheating is done in secret and by cheating you are breaking the trust of your marriage. ?An open relationship is not cheating. ?You are having sex with another person with the permission of your partner. ?When you are having sex with another person, your partner will be aware of what you are doing unlike cheating when they just suspect.
What Do Cheating and an Open Relationship Have in Common?
One word. ?Excitement. ?Cheaters find the entire encounter exciting which is one of the reasons they keep doing it. ?It?s a rush because it?s wrong. ?You?re not supposed to be doing it. ?It?s like when your 16 and having sex on your parents couch while their upstairs. ?Don?t you still get a little turned on thinking about it?
An open relationship isn?t any different. ?It?s not socially accepted which makes it taboo. ?There?s something naughty about it which makes it exciting!
Can An Open Marriage Save Your Relationship?
Maybe. ?Sex is a crucial part of your relationship. ?It enforces your connection to one another and is a pretty awesome stress reliever. ?If your relationship has become stagnant and one of you have considered straying, maybe it?s something to consider. ?Maybe just talking about it will be enough to turn your on and rip each other?s clothes off. ?Maybe not.
If one partner is already cheating, it might be a marriage saver but only if the person not cheating doesn?t start sleeping with other people in some form of revenge.
How to Make an Open Marriage Work:
Honesty and a commitment to each other. ?This is the only way an open marriage could ever work. ?You both have to be committed to each other and to having an open relationship. ?If both parties aren?t interested in it; ?it won?t work. ?You also have to be honest about your feelings. ?You are going to feel jealous from time to time and you need to express it.
You also need to make sure neither of you is becoming emotionally invested in the other person you are having sex with. ?If you begin to form an emotional attachment to a person outside of the marriage, you need to figure it out and deal with it right away. ?That is the inherent risk of an open relationship. ?The risk of falling in love with someone else. ?Many people consider that risk too great to ever explore the possibility.

? 2011, Dear Annabelle | Modern Advice for the Modern World. All rights reserved.
About Annabelle
Annabelle is a 30-something with something to say. She spent most of her 20s exploring different places, jobs & men. Her thirst to experience new things and desire to ?jump right in? has turned her into a regular Renaissance Woman. After settling down on the mainline of Philadelphia with her beau John, she?s sharing her experiences & information with the world.Source: http://dearannabelle.com/2011/open-relationships/
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